I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
