p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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