Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
