o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
