In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize