at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
