Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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