Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
