Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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