you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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