My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
