OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she was so not down for the gang bang
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
