So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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