So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I am spending my child support on dildos
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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