I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
