she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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