don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize