ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
