I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
