David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
