Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You need a sexual gate keeper
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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