Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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