why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
