Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
