I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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