i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
