Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
