yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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