god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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