just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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