I heard we made out
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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