Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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