You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
