def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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