Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize