I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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