Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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