I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
