physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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