Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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