i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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