I look better un-naked...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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