I'm really into asian looking animals
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
