You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
