i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
