2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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