So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
