Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
