i jhust puked up my retainher.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
