epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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