4 words: hood of his car
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
