when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
