Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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