she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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