I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Two words: nipple clamps
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