My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
