I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
