Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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