but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You're like the curious george of whores
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
