so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
